Why This Song Matters: ‘Light Years’ by Pearl Jam

“Other times you’ve got friends that, they don't fuck up at all, and they’re great people, and then you just lose them for some reason, and they’re just off the planet, and you never even get to say goodbye, and I only mention this because there was a person we used to know here. Her name was Diane and ah, we never got a chance to say goodbye, so, this is goodbye. And if you've got good friends, love ‘em while they're here.” 

- Eddie Vedder on stage at Pinkpop 2000, dedicating the performance of ‘Light Years’ that day to Diane Muus, a friend of the band’s from Sony music, who had passed away from cancer in 1997.

Loss is inevitable.

It will hit us consistently throughout our lives. Though circumstances and degree of sorrow may both change, the feeling does not. Something was here, and now, it is gone. Why?

Like many of you, I’ve been known to turn to the Pearl Jam song ‘Light Years’ to help answer this question. 

“I've come up with riddles,
and jokes about war.
I've figured out numbers and what they're for.
I've understood feelings,
and I've understood words,
but how could you be taken away?”

The song is absolutely perfect. We are able to understand and grapple with so many things in life, but loss seems to be inexplicable? Why? Why this person? Why now?

It doesn’t seem fair, as Ed says, that “today just disappeared”. 

It’s interesting, isn’t it? When someone goes away, we often feel that we took them for granted, and we feel guilty because of that. It’s like what Chris Cornell once wrote, “now it seems like too much love, is never enough”...no matter how much we give of ourselves, when someone goes away, we will always feel regretful, like what we gave of our time, love, and affection was not enough. I try not to take it like that. I think the reason we feel badly is largely because of how much of an impact that person had on us, which is a testament to that person, and not a diatribe against ourselves. And now they have gone away, and there is a void created. Think of it… you spend so much time in your day talking to someone or thinking about someone or looking forward to being with someone, and then you lose them. You are left with so much extra time, because that person is no longer accessible to you in the ways that they once were.

That is why I love this song, because it helps to answer the question about what that void is and how to deal with it. 

“Your lights reflected now,
reflected from a far.
We were but stones,
your light made us stars”

Their light is still there, we just may not be able to feel it in the same ways that we are accustomed to. But it is still there. And it is still able to light us up, just like it always has.

Loss often showcases what I think is one of the biggest contradictions in life. We often champion and romanticize the ‘independent’ person. The idea that we’re all we’ve got, and we’re all we need. When someone goes away, we can feel that this isn’t entirely true. The whole of our lives is the sum of those who are in it - those who help our lives to fully bloom.

So, next time someone goes away, do not feel regretful, but instead, celebrate that they existed amongst you and those close to you, for however long or short. Take refuge in the fact that their light is still shining, though it may just shine from a little further away.

And, listen to Ed - if you’ve got good friends, love ‘em while they’re here. Tell someone you love them today.

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